Amber: “Ditto.”

Perhaps more later.

Music on the beach.

So my last entry (well, the one before the one thats just a quote) was a little cryptic, I guess.

So I talked about Melinda a bit. Well, I come to find out, she has a boyfriend. Paul. A guy I know, and a guy I can respect. A guy who used to work with me. One of the few people who was actually friendly with me, and when I first started working there, actually insisted I sit down and have a lunch break with him to talk about stuff.

So yeah. Melinda, this girl I’m totally crazy about, is dating Paul, this really friendly guy, who was fired for being late. Melinda, who, the more time I spend with, the more I like. Melinda, who, I was almost convinced liked me.

Sad day.

I spent a couple days bummed out. Not mopey draggin ass around the house bummed out. But disappointed. Then, yesterday while siting bored on my computer, I decided to go read for a while. And for whatever reason, I left the monitor on. So I’m reading, and I notice that a buddy signed on. From my bed, I noticed the buddy who signed on was Melinda. “Hmmm,” I wonder if she’ll even message me. And then, almost as if my own thought willed it to happen, a conversation window pops up. We talked for a bit about the other day, she’d gone home sick, and ended up being crazy, but no hard feelings.

Then almost out of nowhere:

(17:38:17) Melinda: are you doing anything tonight

Surprised as I was, it didn’t take me long to reply that I was in fact doing nothing. Turns out Paul was throwing a bonfire down at the beach. I was invited. It wasn’t a difficult decision. Stay at home reading a book I’ve read 4 times already… or go spend the evening hanging out at a brand new beach, getting to know a fun girl even more. And its not like I would have minded spending an evening hanging out with Paul, either. Like I said, I considered him a nice guy. And she thought of inviting me It wasn’t like we were talking about the beach, or hanging out, or anything. She had planned on inviting me. Nice self-esteem boost, there ;o)

So we went to the beach. I’m broke, had no idea where this beach was and my car was out of gas, so we met at Target and took her car over. I get out of my car and start walking to hers, and she walks over from Starbucks and meets me halfway. I missed a step. She was looking good. We got into her car and started on our way – with me informing her that the beach was West, toward Oceanside.

Melinda has a very unusual taste in music. We started out the trip listening to Missy Elliot and eventually switched over to some prog bands I’d never heard of. Good stuff. I could even appreciate the Missy Elliot, despite it being rap/R&B. The way she was getting so into the music, singing the lyrics and making up the parts she didn’t know. Gesturing with her hands and moving her whole body to the music. Just made me smile. More on music later.

We talked a bit on the way there. Was there going to be anyone I knew there besides Paul? Anyone from work? No, she said. She doesn’t ever hang out with people from work. Wow. Self-esteem++. Heh.

So we get to the beach. I had decided to bring not one, not two, but three decks of cards with me. Which was a good thing, since we got there, and really, there wasn’t much to do. A couple blankets laid out, a small fire, and a dude playing guitar. So Melinda said we ought to play cards. So I taught her three card. I started to teach her 31, but when she realized it involved counting she suggested a different game. ;oP

Eventually, it was realized that anyone who had parked in the closest parking lot to us had gotten a parking ticket. Not much, but $32 is a pain in the butt. I guess that killed the mood, so a couple people left, and it was just me, Melinda, Paul, and his friend the guitar playing Robert. We all talked about music for a while. Bands that were awesome, bands that defined what music is today. We argued over some. Tool was mentioned a few times. Once even in comparison to Pink Floyd. Which I simply could not allow to go uncontested. Dark Side of The Moon and Aenima simply cannot be compared, let alone lumped together under as the two greatest/most influential albums of all time. Eventually the talking died down, and so did the fire. Melinda and I both had school the next day, so we left.

We talked a lot on the way home. Paul and her have been going out for about a year and a few months, although lately she’s been getting frustrated with him. He can be over-bearing, and she’s never liked that he drinks and smokes. All of this from her own mouth, without my prompting or being nosy. All this from a normally very shy person. If nothing else, I’ve obviously made a new friend, right? She talked about her family a lot. Her dad’s a full on computer nerd. Used to work for NCR, now works independently, ‘setting up networks’. Good times.

Then we got to Target. She pulled up next to my car, and I made my one move of the night. Or rather, my one non-move move. I didn’t get out. Not that I refused to leave or anything. I just… saw no reason to hurry home. So we talked some more. A lot more. And she decided to play some other random stuff for me. A german rap band. A couple other weird bands/musicals. Then the crem de la crem. Her and her friend Michelle have this thing where they get together and sing in a sort of karaoke way and record it. And Melinda makes the CD covers in Photoshop, edits the sounds to make it more ‘studio-esque’ and burns the whole thing to a CD. There was some funny stuff there. Now I know why people enjoy karaoke so much. I was laughing. Not in a mean way, but because it was quite amusing listening to her sing some songs by Shakira. And I also felt kinda touched. She doesn’t let anyone listen to these. She’s a bit self-conscious about it. So after about 45 minutes, I finally decided that I ought to let her go. She asked if I had fun, I told her I did, and said we’d have to do it again.

And that was my Thursday.

Today I saw Angela’s play. And it was hysterical. She did a good job. And it was really good seeing her again.

it’s damn near 2 am now. even though I have more to write, it’ll have to wait for another time.

I’m curious as to who still actively reads this thing. Let me know if you do. Even if we haven’t talked in a while.

It amused me:

“I sat down beside her, said hello, offered to buy her a drink… and then natural selection reared its ugly head.”

Journal it is.

Now. What to journal about? Should I rant about work? Or about another girl I’ve come to like, only to have never had a chance with? Which would I rather get off my chest? Both, really. But which first?

I guess I’ll go ahead and vent a bit with regards to work first. Most of this comes from a conversation I had with Chris yesterday

The other day, I had this dude from the PetCo corporate office come in. I almost went fuckin apeshit on him. I seriously was about to go off. Him and two other corporate dudes come in all random (basically it was a “hey, mike, lets go to the nearest petco and see whats wrong”. I was on my lunch break, but there was another girl in fish… I hear that these guys are in the store, so I come back early from my lunch break to see if this girl (Chelsea) needs any help making the area look a little nicer

So I get over to the fish area, and she’s running around frantically apologizing to these corporate dudes for the way it all looks, and they’re being all nit picky n shit, then one of them calls me over.

Corporate Dude: “hey, come over here”

Me: “yeah? whats wrong?”

Corporate Dude: “you have a dead eel in this tank.”

Me: “where?”

Corporate Dude: “right there”

Me: “where? I don’t see one”

Corporate Dude: “right there.”

Me: “thats not dead.”

Corporate Dude: “but it isn’t moving.”

Me: “its not dead.”

Corporate Dude: “its buried under the gravel.”

Me: “it isn’t dead.”

Corporate Dude: “well, its going to die, its trapped.”

Me: “No. It’s just under the gravel, its fine.”

Corporate Dude: “it looks like its stuck to me”

Me: “No. Eels just burrow under the gravel. It happens all the time, and they all do it. It’s just what eels do.”

Corporate Dude: “well, it looks sick to me”

Me: mentally: “well, you’re probably a fucking moron who doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of an aquarium, let alone nearly 100. you got nothing better to do on a fucking thursday than come in my store, and tell me how to do my fuckin job?”

I was about to fuckin start raisin fsckin Cain. And I don’t even know where that saying comes from, I just know its Bad. He’s pointing out dead fish n shit… coincidentally most of them are fish that shouldn’t be sold in the first place cuz all they do is die in an aquarium… but we have no choice in the matter cuz stupid mother fuckers like him say we have to have at least X number of these fish in stock at any given time.

Nevermind they just always die. Nevermind these fish grow to be 4 feet tall. Nevermind we can’t properly feed them because you won’t give us funding to maintain the steady supply of special food they need. No, that fish is dieing, and it’s my fault… if he woulda come back ten minutes later and said fuckin word one to me, I woulda just started yellin. Forget about customers, getting fired, anything else. I woulda just went off on his fsckin-corporate-this-is-whats-wrong-with-america doesn’t-know-shit-about-the-company-he-works-for-fat-ass. Here’s this fat bald fuck tellin me how to take care of a fish he’s never even seen before, and probably couldn’t even venture a guess on how to pronounce its name.

It all just makes me wanna reach over, grab his ugly ass lime green tie and strangle him with it as I drag his sorry ass out my fuckin department. But thats just me. And I can’t stand Corporate America.

[/rant]

I think that’ll do for now. More on another failed female interest later.

Oh yeah. Added a couple sites to the left. Nothin major.

Monkeys selling pizza; a new level of geekdom; an empty fish tank; and a girl named Melinda.

‘sbout it, really.

pizza.

The monkeys you see, sell pizza. Yes, thats right. Monkeys that sell pizza. Good pizza at that. You wouldn’t think that monkeys would be all that great at making pizza but… well… you heard it here. Even Mollie liked the monkey pizza. No one else has actually seen these monkeys but me, but they’re there. They stand on the corner down the street with signs advertising their pizza. They’re purple, red, and green. And they wear little vests. They’re pretty ugly monkeys, to be honest. But still good pizza. Yeah, still good.

geek.

-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.12
GCS/CM d- s:- a-- C++>$ UL++ P+ L++(+++) 
!E W++ N w-- M>++ PS+(++) PE-(--) Y+ PGP 
t 5- X R+(++) !tv b++ DI+ D- G e>++ h-- r(-) y--
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------

Check it out. It’s pretty amusing. I think I might write a Geek Code interpreter in C++.

Tres and Tris also have Geek Codes, but you’ll have to check their AIM info’s for theirs.

I’m glad to say I’m running Slackware 9.0rc1 exclusively. I can’t wait til 9.0 final comes out, it must be really incredible if its as rock solid as this pre-release is. I might even donate to Slackware.

fish.

my saltwater tank finally has water in it! its actually running, with a filter on it and everything! Soon, I’ll put some liverock in it, then I’ll add some more livesand… then the molly’s go in. Then a pair of Percula clowns. Then I dunno. We’ll see from there.

I’m totally excited, and really, I can’t even put it into typed words. Mollie thinks I’m retarded. I guess she doesn’t realize this is what I’ve been waiting for for nearly 6 months! Oh well. I’m still excited.

girl.

So yeah. I’m dumb. I’m retarded. I met a girl. At work. Melinda. At first, I thought she hated me. For nearly two months she barely said more than a few words at a time to me. Then the other day we just started talking about work. About how much it fscking sucks, and about getting fired, and, and, and, and. Two weeks ago I couldn’t have heard this girl’s voice in my head, but now I can hear her laughing and saying how lame that last attempt at a joke was, as she takes another drink from her never ending supply of water bottles. I could only vaguely describe the way she looks, and now I notice when she looks like she’s ready to put her glasses on by the way she starts squinting.

She’s shy and quiet. It takes a while for her to open up. I get the impression she has friends, but not many. She doesn’t go out much, except with her friends and to certain places. She loves animals. She hates working on Saturday, cuz the vet comes in and gives shots to dogs and cats – hearing that in the background all day can be quite sad at times. But she wishes more people would come. She hates it when people don’t care that they’re killing their animals, and is so happy when people seem to know what the right thing to do is. She’s really nice, but often misunderstood. People mistake her quiet nature as being aloof. She’s a self-proclaimed innocent. She’s cute; she has a great smile. She drinks way too much water. She makes me want to relearn Hebrew, even though she’s not jewish.

And I’m so totally crazy. Someone needs to smack me and tell me there ain’t a chance in hell.

Ok, so apparently my previous entry was not “good enough” for some people.

Not that I’d totally given up on this diary, mind you. I just have either had too much or too little to add lately.

I guess I’ll go ahead and sum up the larger points…

1) I gotta say this. Rock N Jenny’s FSCKIN 0wnz m3. For those of you ignorant thus far, Rock N Jenny’s is the coolest place in Escondido I’ve found. It’s this little restraunt right next to work (which I’ll get to in a moment.. ahem.) So anyways. Right next to work. I go there on my lunch break everyday. Yes, every day. Even if I’m not hungry or not buying anything I go there.

There’s a couple reasons for this… first, I don’t like being at work (again, I’ll get there)… second, there be some hotties workin up in there. Serious. And friendly, too. This girl Ami works there, and we talk a lot… I see her all the time at school. I think she might even be a nerd. But I digress. Where was I? Ah yes. Hot and friendlies. That sorta leads me to the next point; Jenny. No, not the namesake Jenny, just another Jenny that happens to work there. I’ve no idea how old she is… late 20’s early 30’s?

So Jenny is hella cool. She likes Fight Club. Has a shirt with a picture of Tyler Durden on it. Which is how we got to talking… she noticed on my nametag that I had a pet named Tyler Durden.

So anyways, Jenny is almost always there, and is someone who I can talk to about work or anything really. Which isn’t to say we’re the best of buds or anything, its just nice to have someone to talk to who seems to listen.

lets see…. oh… right. Work. Work Sucks.

I dunno. It’s just not the same. The people there aren’t as social. And even when they are, there simply isn’t time or oppurtunity to socialize. And Management is hella lame. They’re very anal about the store’s appearance. Sometimes even if that appearance makes it harder for the employees to do their jobs.. including maintaining the animals. Like using crushed coral instead of a sand bed for the salt water aquariums. I’m convinced that would solve a lot of our mysterious deaths we have. But no. “The coral looks better.” My ass.

So I’ve begun the search. I’m looking at a couple different places. More on that as it develops, of course.

School is… going… I’m thinking about dropping my CS class, actually. It’s not really teaching me anything, the teacher’s a dick, and I could really use a lower homework load.

Other than that, school is just school… but its not school, at least. No offense, of course. Just glad to be away from that.

On a happy note, I’ve just installed Slackware Linux 9.0rc1. And its lookin mighty sweet. It’s been too long since I’ve had Linux, and I sure as hell had a hard enough time getting it on this machine.

All-in-all though, I think I really am much happier than I have been in a long time. The independence I have now feels great. Even if I know I have to keep working to keep it. Maybe moreso because of that.

Well, I hope this fills a certain someone’s (who shall remain nameless) need for journaling. I think I’m gonna call it an entry for now.

Still alive!